The tale ... of brave Sir Barack
And so brave Sir Barack set forth into the dark forest of consumer financial protection, accompanied by his favorite sycophants in the media.
WASHINGTON (AP) - President Barack Obama named Wall Street critic Elizabeth Warren a special adviser Friday and tasked her with setting up a new agency to look out for consumers in their dealings with banks, mortgage companies and other financial institutions.
Calling Warren "one of the country's fiercest advocates for the middle class," Obama said she would ensure the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau ends abusive practices.
"Never again will folks be confused or misled by pages of barely understandable fine print that you find in agreements for credit cards or mortgages or student loans," he said, standing alongside Warren and Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner in the White House Rose Garden.
Obama credited Warren with developing the concept of the new consumer agency, and he said, "It only makes sense that she should be the architect."
But the dreaded three-headed Republican knight loomed ahead, vowing to cut off Sir Barack's head of the consumer protection unit using the most terrifying weapon yet devised, the Senate confirmation hearing. Could brave Sir Barack fight the knight, debating him openly in the court of public opinion, and winning the day for his comely appointee?
As the specter of the Republican knight preparing for battle loomed, brave Sir Barack found a different path. One which avoided the awesome confrontation entirely.
Obama did not nominate Warren to be the bureau's director, however. Instead he is creating a role that allows her to avoid a lengthy confirmation fight with Senate Republicans who view her as too critical of Wall Street and big banks. The business and banking community opposed Warren as director, contending she would make the agency too aggressive
He bravely chose this path around the Republican knight, though doing so skirted the rules of engagement, and chivalry, entirely.
He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments
Brave Sir Barack was not dissuaded, nor was he humbled by his avoidance of the public joust, the open debate as prescribed by the rules of engagement, and chivalry. He proudly thought himself the clever victor in this now-nonexistent confrontation, having avoided being killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave Sir Barack.