Showing the keen insight and incisive commentary that has made me famous throughout the blogosphere, here are my top 5 election predictions as the 2006 midterms get underway.
5. After exorcising Mike Dewine in Ohio, the voters will finally look at Sherrod Brown, collectively slap their foreheads like Alec Guinness at the end of The Bridge on the River Kwai and, ashen-faced, mutter Col. Nicholson's famous line, "My God, what have I done?"
4. Militant leftist gays across America will struggle to find a new word for this. (Note: not for the children, or anyone with a conscience or a sensitive stomach.)
3. Nancy Pelosi, on becoming Speaker of the House, will show up on the first day of the next Congress dressed as Lucy Van Pelt, carrying a football labeled "impeachment."
2. More dead people than dogs will be found to have voted for Claire McCaskill in Missouri.
1. We'll never hear the word 'macaca' again.
(cross-posted at The Right Place)